I am a new person

This is from an assignment last week at Grace Bible College. It has only been slightly revised to give you information so that it will make more sense to you, the reader, outside of the College class.  I even kept it in the same formatting. It does make for an easier read.  Please feel free to share your thoughts at the end of this entry and share it with others--as I have a few options with how you can do so. I know that I includes a sentence about not having to share everything that I learn, but when what I learn is increasing the quality of my life--I just can not help it.

It truly has been a process becoming a new person and putting off the old self, that has certainly been the case, during my whole Christian life so far. Where am I at today?  Over the last few weeks-during my course here at GBC- I am discovering some new key information.  First and foremost is that I am totally dependent on Christ-I have known this for sometime, but through my studies and meditation is has infiltrated deep into my heart and mind.  In the past I have worshipped my will (unknowingly) and now realize that I need to depend on the Holy Spirit within me.

I need to put off the expectations that I will do everything perfectly or that things must always “go” perfectly. I need to judge people less, I do not—do so—speaking to other people, but I make judgments in my own thinking. I need to realize that we are all on our own journey and no two people are going to be in the same place or at the same level. When I learn new things I do not need to jump out and tell everyone I meet. I recently lost sixty-three lbs. But I am still fighting against addictions to food.  I have always been an emotional eater and I want to put that off and seek God when I need emotional comfort. Help me Jesus! There are more things that rear their ugly head from time to time, but the layers have been coming off. Thank you Jesus!

I have new habits in place that I have been building up and committing to doing that are helping me—set my mind on things of God.  I would like to expand my prayer life and have always felt the pull to intercede for others.  I look forward to using my imagination more and allow Jesus to show me how to use the idea of flash prayers (which I learned from the book—Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster.) I recommend that book to anyone reading this.  I hope to use flash praying on behalf of others in my life, while I am at the store, church, or wherever. It has only been the past year that I have discovered God’s still small voice and I want to learn to listen, really listen more—to what God wants me to do in every situation in life. I want to have more solitude and silent time with God.  Right now I have enough with studying what we are assigned at Grace Bible College, but in the future I plan to study works of C.S. Lewis.

I love the Spiritual Journal that we have to submit and I plan to continue, expanding on the whole concept even after it is not an assignment due, but I love the accountability. I have been using notebooks to write various thoughts and reflections by hand while I am doing devotions, etc to. I plan to daily put myself into the place where God can transform me.  I look forward to seeing his work in my life as I know it is going to be immeasurably above any of my attempts in the past. I have been good at doing it Monday through Friday, but I want to incorporate it into Saturday and Sunday too.  Leading children’s worship or going to the service is not enough; I believe I need at least, maybe smaller snippets of what I do during the week.

I honestly see myself having to say “It is your work, Oh Lord, not my own” every day. I so soon forget the things I have learned.  One example- just recently is the fact that I am learning to resist the devil and not listening to the nonsense, that is not even the truth, to me. Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated again, but only at the first stage compared to the past. In talking with my husband I quickly realized it was that nasty Satan again. He has been leaving me alone because I have been putting into practice the powerful things I have been learning lately.  Thank you Jesus!! Satan thought he would try a sneak attack on me again yesterday, I may have forgotten for a few hours, but I am being renewed because I never got to the place he can usually take me.