Changing my negative reflection to a positive one

I recently completed the book by Noah St. John called secret code of success.  Have you said affirmations to yourself before? No matter how many times you have said them, you haven't truly believed or implemented them into your life.  That's because your mind doesn't work with facts, instead, it works with questions.  Many of us have negative questions that have built up in our minds-over the years- giving us a negative reflection.  Most of the negative questions are dealt with in the subconscious mind.  So, the great news is, that if we retrain our conscious mind to learn positive questions- for our minds to work on at the subconscious level-we will begin to succeed in many areas of our life.  Noah has named these Afformations--I love them!!  I have begun reforming my mind.  Here is a list of 25 that I came up with today.  If you know me, I would love to hear your input and thoughts.  Let me know if I am seeing myself accurately or if there are other skills that you see in me.  I would appreciate it!!

1. Why do I love writing?
2. Why is my writing improving?
3. Why do I enjoy learning about writing?
4. Why do I keep getting more creative with writing?
5. Why do I have so much joy when writing?
6. Why do I come up with encouraging cards?
7. Why do I come up with fantastic card designs?
8. Why do card sayings keep coming to mind?
9. Why do I have fun making cards?
10. Why am I great at making wordart?
11. Why do I attract more creative people?
12. Why do I share creative ideas and work with other's so easily now?
13. Why do I enjoy synergizing?
14. Why do I meet more people who inspire my creativity?
15. Why do I celebrate my creativity
16. Why have I slowed down and enjoy the journey of life?
17. Why do I quiet my mind more and listen for God's voice?
18. Why do I see Who I Am through God's eyes?
19. Why do I follow God's leading?
20. Why do I trust that He knows best what I need to do with my next step?
21. Why do I make God a priority?
22. Why do I make family a priority?
23. Why do I make friends a priority?
24. Why do I make people a priority?
25. Why do I make goal-free moments a priority?

If I MUST! So be it.

I- never- want to come to a place in my life where I am not completely dependent on God.  It is in suffering, unknowns, and impossible circumstances that we ARE totally dependent on God.  Pain seems to be the thing that God uses to keep me, where I have asked Him to.  He is merciful in giving me moments of refreshing and rest from it, but I can be certain the return is around the corner.

I am there again today.  Lord help me endure as it seems no matter what I do my back hurts.  I stand up and move around for while-it hurts.  I sit down with a heating pad-it hurts.  I try my massage bed-it hurts.  I try the inversion table-it hurts.  I sit and say Jesus, Jesus, Jesus over and over again.  I sing great is thy faithfulness, to the best of my memory- then switch to my fear of God playlist.  Finally I am to the point where I can begin to relax enough and focus on writing a book I am working on.  The distraction was nice and pain just in the background.   See total dependence on my Lord. Now I am standing again to write more of this post...the pain returns!  *Big Sigh*  I am going to go soak in a hot shower.

Well a shower and a chiropractor appointment later- that I finally broke down and made- I am feeling quite a bit better.  I was being so stubborn and not wanting to spend money on his services.  He said bare minimum I should do one adjustment per week until the adjustment keeps and then every other month after that.  Lord I ask for the every other month to come quickly, as you know our budget will be stretched with this.

Lord I finish by praising you through this pain, as YOU are what matters.  My relationship with You and acknowledging that I can't do it without You. You are my faithful, loving, and sovereign God.  You only allow what is for my best and what I can handle.

Thank You!!

His Leading....I don't go blindly.

I am so glad I don't go blindly through life.  Its so freeing knowing that a "good" God is in control, even more so, when I give it to Him daily.  I don't need to be swished this way and that by the waves.  Instead, I can go each step of my day in the faith of knowing that God is leading me.  I can check the desires and ideas against the word of God and when it lines up move forward.  Since I am learning to sense His voice I can double check and confirm things too.  I have begun a journey of writing a children|teen book that will have lessons to learn.  It will be in the genre of C.S. Lewis. I hope to learn from him and other authors like him to produce another great book, that will enhance the lives of the youth, planting a seed that draws them to the Lord.  As always I covet any prayers on my behalf, in regards to my writing.  That I will mature and strengthen my skills everyday.

God Planted Desires

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

I believe God puts His will into our hearts as we delight in Him.  When we give Him the control of our day, trusting He knows best, He leads us into His will.

For the last 10 yrs I have been slowly learning ways to "kreatively" cultivate my delight in Him.  When I follow the principles that He has shown me, my joy is abundant because I am living within the desires He has given me. Often times I would fall back into the trap of being self sufficient.  I would take the control back over my life and the joyful peace,  goes right out the window.  Things may go smoothly at first, but suddenly one morning I would wake up and say to myself,  "How did I get here again?"

The key has been putting Him first in every day through a prayer giving Him control.  I have to persevere without exception, no excuse making.  Continually I have to say, "No!" To any distractions until this is done.

So what desires has God placed into my heart?  I am experiencing the most joy when writing.  My joy becomes abundant when I am encouraging through my writing.  The element that has me the most in awe of Him, is the fact, I fall short in the grammar department.  I stumble over my thoughts while writing. I have often been told I write sentence fragments, run ons, place punctuations in the wrong place, and the such.  I was a member at writing.com a few years back and now have since rejoined again.  This place has been a great encouragement and learning tool for me.

My Mom believes in me, God has told me over the last few weeks that he really believes in me.  I am working through a book called, The Secret Code of Success.  It has been teaching me how to get rid of the "head trash", and to take my foot off the break that keeps me from success.  I have been following the suggested steps and have seen wonderful changes happening.

Yesterday I received an email from my mom about a scholarship contest to the "She Speaks" conference.  I immediately slammed on the brake. My first thought was, "I won't be able to write good enough to be able to win something like that."  For 2-3 hours I went back and forth between crying to Him, "I am not good enough", to hearing Him say, "I believe in you, write from your heart."  Then I finally asked, "Why do You believe in me?"  In my silence for some time I finally heard, "I created you."  "You don't need to believe in yourself, you need to believe in ME."  "I will help you."

Will I win this contest?  Only God knows the answer to that.  Will I learn from it?  You betcha, if nothing else I am taking the leap of faith.  Regardless of the outcome God is going to take me on my next step, that I can know will be for my best.  He wants me to write, that I know perfectly clear, so my "why" is because He wants me to.  I need to give the how this will happen to HIM.

The "She Speaks" conference sounds like a fantastic step into the process of improving myself.  As many others, we can't afford it.  If it is God's will He is going to work out the how.  For those who read this I certainly appreciate your prayers.

Exhilarating Joy!

Precious Lord, my creator, it is with great awe, that I ponder on the things in my life that you have been showing me. It may be through a book or two that I have read, or an email that was sent to me. It may be a website you led me to, or words spoken by another faithful believer of yours. You died just for me to have eternal life.... with You, the Father, and the Holy Spirit who has been placed IN me. You love me so much that it wasn't enough to be with me, you went a step further in intimacy by taking permanent residence within my heart.

I have a life so full of abundance, bubbling over with joy. I have moments where I see into the full extent of the freedom that you have already purchased through your blood. Complete freedom that draws, and strengthens me to persevere without exception. The exhilarating thing you showed me today is that even when my days start to look the same they, in fact, are not. On the surface things may be boring, insignificant, same old same old, dull, ho-hum, uninteresting or another day of unanswered prayer. Looking deeper, its another day to glorify You God. To walk in the purpose you set aside just for me, there are things only I can do to complete your will.

Psalm 139:16-17 says Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,God! How vast is the sum of them!

May I never look at each day the same again. You hear my prayers and I can count on you working towards the details in the unseen. Whether you answer with what I asked, or what sometimes can be even better, what is best for me and for my good. God you are a good God. In the Cosmic Christmas book I read by Max Lucado, you even offer Satan a chance to come back to you. God, you truly want no one to perish.