God Planted Desires

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

I believe God puts His will into our hearts as we delight in Him.  When we give Him the control of our day, trusting He knows best, He leads us into His will.

For the last 10 yrs I have been slowly learning ways to "kreatively" cultivate my delight in Him.  When I follow the principles that He has shown me, my joy is abundant because I am living within the desires He has given me. Often times I would fall back into the trap of being self sufficient.  I would take the control back over my life and the joyful peace,  goes right out the window.  Things may go smoothly at first, but suddenly one morning I would wake up and say to myself,  "How did I get here again?"

The key has been putting Him first in every day through a prayer giving Him control.  I have to persevere without exception, no excuse making.  Continually I have to say, "No!" To any distractions until this is done.

So what desires has God placed into my heart?  I am experiencing the most joy when writing.  My joy becomes abundant when I am encouraging through my writing.  The element that has me the most in awe of Him, is the fact, I fall short in the grammar department.  I stumble over my thoughts while writing. I have often been told I write sentence fragments, run ons, place punctuations in the wrong place, and the such.  I was a member at writing.com a few years back and now have since rejoined again.  This place has been a great encouragement and learning tool for me.

My Mom believes in me, God has told me over the last few weeks that he really believes in me.  I am working through a book called, The Secret Code of Success.  It has been teaching me how to get rid of the "head trash", and to take my foot off the break that keeps me from success.  I have been following the suggested steps and have seen wonderful changes happening.

Yesterday I received an email from my mom about a scholarship contest to the "She Speaks" conference.  I immediately slammed on the brake. My first thought was, "I won't be able to write good enough to be able to win something like that."  For 2-3 hours I went back and forth between crying to Him, "I am not good enough", to hearing Him say, "I believe in you, write from your heart."  Then I finally asked, "Why do You believe in me?"  In my silence for some time I finally heard, "I created you."  "You don't need to believe in yourself, you need to believe in ME."  "I will help you."

Will I win this contest?  Only God knows the answer to that.  Will I learn from it?  You betcha, if nothing else I am taking the leap of faith.  Regardless of the outcome God is going to take me on my next step, that I can know will be for my best.  He wants me to write, that I know perfectly clear, so my "why" is because He wants me to.  I need to give the how this will happen to HIM.

The "She Speaks" conference sounds like a fantastic step into the process of improving myself.  As many others, we can't afford it.  If it is God's will He is going to work out the how.  For those who read this I certainly appreciate your prayers.